Heart & Home

                                                    

It's been so long since I posted.  The problem with that is that there are so many things that have happened, things I wanted to get on the blog, but finding the time to catch up is a trick.  So I'll save catching up for another day, and just get on with a few thoughts....

Last week was the first week I've had any downtime since before we moved.  After the move I was always on the go, with kids in three different schools in three not close locations, four if you include preschool.  And I was okay with that.  I didn't want to disrupt their schooling for the last seven weeks of school.  It just meant that there was rarely any time to be home.  I mean, I was home sometimes, but not home...  Then the flurry of the last weeks of May-it really was mind boggling crazy, those few weeks.  Then I jumped right into teaching Music Theater, which is jam packed with fun, but a whole lot of late nights and extra hours.  So last week I was done being a family bus driver, done teaching amazing kids to sing, dance, and light up a stage, and my heart could center on home.

"Home will be where the heart is"...one of my favorite lines from Beauty and the Beast.  And yet, as I sat home on my first quiet (with eight kids this words is all relative:) day I realized that my heart has been longing to be home.  Actually home.  Sitting on the couch and listening to my children's conversations.  Noticing how when I am merely sitting, the children are the happiest.  They know they can have my attention at their beck and call, giving them a sense of stability and happiness like nothing else.  Brooklyn and Cannon running off to play in his room, but returning every few minutes to animatedly tell me  every minute detail of what they are doing.  Spontaneous hugs and kisses from everyone, random "I love you"s.  Older kids that just want to come and sit next to me.  

I love being involved in projects and activities.  But there is such a fine line.  These years are going so quickly and I don't want to spend so much time with my heart overcommitted to outside things that home gets squeezed out.  Of course my heart always deep down wants to be home, but I can often say yes to so many things that I unintentionally give away all the pieces before I realize what is happening.  Then there is that plain old reality--laundry to be done, dishes to be washed, shopping to do, lessons, scouts, mutual, callings... These can't be avoided. But I know the deep peace and happiness I felt on that day needs to happen more often in my life.  I love my family more than anything and I want to give them the very best of me.  I am incredibly blessed and I want my kids one day to look back and realize that my home is where my heart is.