The White Family

Fireworks

2011-07-31T17:56:00.000-07:00

Colton is three and can be-how can I put it?- my trial at church. I've been talking to him throughout the week about how we act at church. We talk about words like quiet, reverence, whisper, sit still......

Jody was home sick and I sat, the lone adult, with all the children on the pew. It went from bad to worse pretty quickly. Colton was rocketing off laps, blasting across the aisle, and showering the congregation with his giggles, you-can't-catch-me squeals of delight, and screams of protest when caught.

I managed to snag him as he shot by, made my lap his prison, and whispered in his ear:

"Colton we need to be reverent. Remember?"

"Yes"

"Do you remember what reverent means?"

"Yes"

"What does it mean?"

"FIREWORKS!!"

"No, it means to sit quiet and still. Right?"

"No. It means FIREWORKS!"

Aaahh...this explains quite a lot:)

My Girl

2010-11-16T21:15:00.001-08:00

This title has been hanging here, lonely, for entirely too long. I didn't mean for the title to post. I was trying to write, but I just didn't know how to say it all. We were still at the hospital, in the thick of it, and I couldn't settle on any words. How could I say how very, very sad I was and still sound faithful, hopeful, acknowledge that the Lord is in charge? Exhaustion and worry hung in the air, clawing at my emotions. And so I didn't write, couldn't write.

Now we've been at home for nine days, and I'm drawn to write. She is doing beautifully, recovering faster than anticipated. Her headaches are controllable, which is a major improvement. She smiles, paints Brooklyn's nails, hangs out with Conner in his room, laughs with Amber, and asks when she can go back to school. Prayers are being answered and I am grateful beyond words. So why are there moments when I still feel like exhaustion is weighing down on me; the worry permanent, constant and sometimes paralyzing?

Braelyn doesn't remember much about being at the hospital. This is a blessing because Pain was a large portion of her time there. But she does remember hearing me cry that first day when I was calling family. She remembers me crying when they told us she had a 6-7 inch fracture in her skull. She wonders why I was crying. Seriously, she wonders why I was crying? This is my girl. My first baby, my only daughter for 12 long years. From the ages 2-5 I spent collective hours tickling her back, playing with her hair to help her fall asleep at night. Now I was spending hours every day stroking her hair, softly touching her face, legs and arms (while Amber spent literally hours standing behind her hospital bed massaging her head) to help her stay as relaxed as possible when the medicine refused to offer the desperately needed relief.

I need to say that I do understand that while this was difficult, heart rending, and emotionally/physically/spiritually draining, it wasn't tragic. My girl came home. My girl will still grow up smart, beautiful, talented and righteous. She may have a few bumps in the road, but her goals and dreams are all still within her reach. There was a little girl brought in to the PICU while we were there who had been pulled out of the family pool. Her room was just around the corner and I could see her parents standing vigil at the end of her bed for three days. On Friday morning when I came back from one of only two nights away from Braelyn (thank you Amy and Melissa), the room was empty. That little girl didn't go home. Not too her earthly home. And my heart ached for them. Prayed for them. And I prayed for my girl.

I prayed because I believe. I believe in the promises, love, and comfort of my Savior, Jesus Christ. I believe that my Heavenly Father knows me, knows Braelyn, and is always listening. I believe that atonement offers balm not just for the sorrows of sin, but for all of our sorrows. I believe that while I can have my moments of worry and sadness, those emotions don't say who I really am. Who I really am, or who I am truly striving to be, is a disciple of Jesus Christ. I love Him, I try and follow Him, and I put my faith and trust in Him. When trials come, I know that I am being given an opportunity to show where I stand. Fear or Faith. Trust or Doubt. Love or Anger. I believe that our family is being given an opportunity to grow, to be shaped and molded, to learn more about Him and grow closer to Him with the deeper realization of our personal need for Him.

Braelyn sustained a severe concussion, a fractured skull, contusions in both of her temporal lobes and her right frontal lobe. The one in the frontal lobe will leave a scar on her brain, which may cause seizures at some point. There are several other small bleeds throughout her brain. Her kidneys were bruised and bled for several days. Some problems with her short term memory and impulse control could be a part of her life for a time while her brain heals. Her sense of smell may be diminished (really, if you had to choose a sense to be impaired....). Headaches are probably here to stay.

And yet, she will heal. For all the small moments of worry, there were long hours of peace and calm. Reassurance came through priesthood blessings, priesthood leaders, and personal revelation. I am so thankful for the gospel of Jesus Christ. I am thankful for the fasting and prayers by so many people, some we know, many we don't. I am thankful for amazing ward members and neighbors who stepped in and took over daily tasks so we could focus on Braelyn. I am thankful for friends and family who came and sat with me, cried with me, and cared for Braelyn with me. I love you all.

I am thankful to Jody for being my rock, for being the one I get to lean on and cling to. There is no one I'd rather have by my side.

Braelyn got the clearance today to try and go back for half days and see how she does. Her faith is amazing. She keeps telling me that she always knew she would be fine. She moves forward with faith, trusting in the Lord. I want to be just like her. Just like my girl.

Lost MOMMY

2010-03-09T19:44:00.000-08:00

At 8:00 p.m. on a typical Wednesday night, I found myself in a dilemma. I had been promising my boys a trip to Walmart(ugh). Walmart because one of them had a gift card there, and there were also some supplies we needed for our new adventure into the world of home schooling. I had broken my promise several times because things kept coming up unexpectedly. My most recent promise had been "Wednesday night. I'm sure that will work. Right after dinner." Of course, one thing led to another, and it was already 8:00. Family prayer was called, and after the Amen all my kids jumped up and said "We're ready!" I had thought it was a given that we WEREN'T going. We'd had prayer, by jove! It was 8:00! Brooklyn and Colton were already in pajamas! But those pleading eyes, hands pointing to feet that had shoes tied and ready to go, tugged at my heart strings and I gave in.

Seven children headed excitedly to the van, and I dragged my tired, weary mind and body to the drivers seat and we were off. I should mention, we were outfitted for Walmart. Cannon was wearing one of his most awful shirts, which had layers of dirt and dinner proudly displayed across the front. His face was a map of meals and snacks from the day. Brooklyn and Colton were in oversized t-shirts and mismatched pajama pants, no shoes. The others looked only slightly better. And me...well, I looked like someone who had spent my day chasing this wild group and had never quite caught up.

After spending a good thirty minutes on the same three toy aisles, I was mentally congratulating myself on my unselfish decision to bring them. My thoughts were interrupted by the ring of my cell phone. It was one of my best friends, a kindred spirit, seeking a little consolation and commiseration on the joys and trials of being the leader of a large and demanding brood. Toys selected, supplies collected, I summoned them all to follow me to the grocery side of the store, all the while talking and laughing with my friend. At some point during my trip across the store I thought I heard my name over the speaker. I strained to hear, but it didn't seem to be for me. Rounding the corner that dropped me off at dairy, I noticed that Cannon had NOT rounded the corner. "Cannon? Cannon?" Oh dear. While talking about the "not so great" moments of motherhood, I found myself smack dab in the middle of one of those "moments". I quickly said goodbye and organized my posse. "Conner and Cooper, retrace our steps. I'll look on this side. Little kids stay with me...." My words just hung there in the open air, because the two younger boys had already bolted, determined to hang with the big guys. I was stuck with two full carts, a toddler in each, thinking, "great, now I'm missing five children".

I must admit, I was momentarily paralyzed. I was planning my next move. Did Conner and Cooper even know the little boys were following them? What if they were separated? And where in the world was Cannon? How long had he not been with us? How was I going to get us all together again? I wasn't really panicked, or even very nervous. I was just on thought overload. My thoughts were once again interrupted as I heard the loud speaker calling:

"Attention, Attention, we have a LOST MOMMY. Will Angela White please report to customer service. We have a LOST MOMMY."

So, picture this. I haul myself, along with the two full carts with pajama clad, shoeless babies up to claim my status as LOST MOMMY of one filthy (but still amazingly cute) red head. Apparently they had been calling me for some time, and Cannon had come to the conclusion that I must not be there anymore. He confidently explained to the workers that he should call his dad, because he knew his cell phone number. (Don't worry, I've since taught him mine!). Just as I came up he was finishing these instructions to his dad:

"Um, Dad...Could you please call Mom and tell her she left me at Walmart?"

Cannon caught sight of me, said "never mind", hung up the phone, and ran to hug me. His little eyes betrayed the false bravado, and I hugged him to me tightly. Both women behind the counter were talking at me, telling me how many times they'd called me. Brooklyn and Colton were loudly and joyfully exclaiming that Cannon had been found. We were quite a scene. Then the thumping sound of eight feed pounding, running quickly, filled my ears. Four more voices added themselves to the cacophony, each trying to relate their version of their search for Cannon. We were quite the sight. Pretty much the perfect stereotype of a large family at Walmart.

I felt everyone's eyes upon us, heard the whispering back and forth, as we proceeded to check out...kids grabbing their toy selections, finding things that were unknowingly placed in my cart, discussing why we were definitely not buying checkout aisle candy at 9:30 p.m., please stay over here, NO you may not "run to the bathroom real quick" (like I'm letting us get separated again), stop pushing, please don't touch the cash register, stop spinning the bag holder....

However, our moment of infamy was short lived. As we were leaving firefighters came in and were helping a man lying down between two checkouts. I felt badly for him and sincerely hope he was okay, but was glad for the opportunity to quietly slip out the door and try to regain my dignity.

I didn't like being a LOST MOMMY. I like them knowing right where I am, stepping on my heels, begging for things with high fructose corn syrup, and adding interesting things to my cart while I'm not looking!

Random

2009-10-20T20:58:00.001-07:00

I love my brother Alex. I love that he is amazingly good at math. I love even more that he's willing, at a moments notice, to take a detour on his way home from a long day of school and work and come tutor my daughter, while his beautiful wife Bridget (who just happens to be one of the nicest people one could ever meet) waits for the dinner and movie they planned on for the evening. Yea! for super smart brothers. And super nice brothers. I have five of them, and I count myself hugely blessed.
Braelyn won't be thrilled that I posted this picture, but in all fairness to her, who expects a flash to go off during family home evening opening prayer? I was opening my eyes to see if my kids were closing theirs, and I saw Brooklyn and couldn't resist. I REVERENTLY got up, and REVERENTLY took this picture, and then REVERENTLY closed my eyes for the remainder of the prayer. I fall in love with Brooklyn all over again about every twenty seconds or so all day long.
Brooklyn got all her "hair stuff" and treated Braelyn to a head massage (if you call a two year old jamming clips into your scalp a massage) and some hair beautification.
Braelyn returned the favor. They are twelve years apart, but they are as tight as sisters come.

Discovery #3

2009-09-07T11:41:00.001-07:00

My girl has naturally curly hair now. And while that might not seem impressive, let me tell you, it is. You just have to believe me on this one. When she was little I would bathe her, then put a lot of gel in her hair, wrap her hair in small sponge rollers, and torture her by making her sleep on them. The next day I would take them out and she had the most lovely curls. Tight, gorgeous curls all over her precious little head. I'd spray, and spray, and spray, and maybe spray again, to make sure they stayed. I'd hold my breath and hope that maybe this time, the result would be different. But no, within an hour it would be a soft, large, gentle curl. Within two, it would look like I had taken a flat iron to

it (although at the time I'd never heard of a flat iron). I'm telling you, there was no product or implement out there that would make her hair hold a curl. And now just look at her. Jody doesn't appreciate it AT ALL. And as for me, I'm a little bit jealous!

Discovery #2

2009-09-07T11:40:00.001-07:00

Spaghetti and Red Heads are a Perfect Match!

Discovery #1

2009-09-07T11:35:00.000-07:00

When you move out to the "country" and have cow pens at the back of your property, you just never know when someone might leave the gate open and THIS will be the view out the master bedroom window when you wake up.

This provided a lot of morning excitement for everyone, but I think Jody was the most excited of all. If you look closely, you'll see the tail end of a bull whip in the second picture. Hands down the happiest day of the year for him, the day he received that bull whip. And today has to be right up there. When we saw the cows practically on the porch, we shared a little laugh and called the kids. Then all of a sudden, Jody's expression changed. A glint in his eye, determination in his countenance and a call for...the whip. "Cooper, bring me the WHIP!" Oh the happiness that came from having a real, valid, reason to own a bull whip! (Not that he really cares if he has areason or not) He pulled that baby out and started cracking it, and darn it all if it didn't work. Those cows jumped and ran straight for the pens. Who knew that a bull whip and two curious cows could make my man so happy. I swear he stood two feet taller when he walked back towards the house.

Priceless

2009-09-03T17:04:00.001-07:00

"Mom, will you please remind me that I lost a tooth?"

May I just say, this boy is the cutest thing ever.

Conversations

2009-09-01T18:17:00.000-07:00

These conversations entertained me, and I've got to write them down so that someday when I'm old (in like ten years or so) and my kids say "did I ever say anything funny?" I'll be able to come up with something.

(Doing homework with Crew)

Me: Crew, you are reading so well! I can't believe how good you're getting!

Crew: (Smacks his hand on his forehead) Aahh! Cooper just asked me if I could read and I told him no. I better run find him and tell him I can!!!

(The boys are into running on the trampoline in socks so that they can build up static electricity and shock each other. I know, I know. Boys.)

Crew: I always run out of shocks so fast! Cooper and Conner have way more shock power. I think it's because their socks are furrier. My socks just run out of juice so fast!

Me: Cannon, I'm so glad you've been getting a green light everyday at kindergarten. And I'm really glad that you are being such a good friend to the other kids in your class.

Cannon: Yeah mom, I'm a really good friend. I don't hit them, or kick them, or throw rocks or even sticks at them!

Watch out for that boy. His definition of a "good friend" is pretty broad.

252 Times

2009-08-18T10:29:00.000-07:00

About ten years ago I went to a parenting class. The man was supposed to be a great speaker with a lot of great ideas. I only remember one solitary thing from the class. Someone posed the question "What do you do when your child is whining at you, repeating the same thing over and over?". His answer was "All you have to do is quietly continue to do what you are doing, and ignore the whining." Sounds simple enough. But I knew from personal experience this didn't work. So I got brave and raised my hand and said, "But my little girl doesn't stop. She just follows me wherever I go and continues to whine". He said, "You just aren't giving it enough time. Here, let's give everyone an example." He then asked me to get up and role play with him, me being the whining child and he being the parent. I followed him around the room trying my best to imitate a whining toddler. He just kept walking around and I started to feel foolish, and I eventually gave up. He turned to me with enthusiasm and said "See!!" I wanted to tell him that a toddler doesn't have an audience of adults watching, nor do they have the social awareness to be embarrassed by their actions, thus the exercise wasn't really a comparable situation. But he seemed so pleased with himself and I was still feeling embarassed so I went and sat down.

Fast forward a few years.

This morning I dropped of the elementary kids at the bus stop and it was just me, Brookie and Colton in the car. Brooklyn had been happy, but something triggered her whining switch, and she began to say"I...want..my..daddy" "I...want..my..daddy" "I...want..my..daddy"

"I...want..my..daddy" "I...want..my..daddy" "I...want..my..daddy" .....

You get the idea. I tried many tactics.

"Brooke, look at the horses!" nothing

"Brooke, look at that purple car. How silly!" still nothing

"Brooklyn, where's your baby doll? Let's go home and get her dressed!" nada

and the gold star of parenting, "Brooklyn, do you want a treat when we get home?"

This girl was serious. And out of the blue, this memory of the parenting class came to my mind and I figured I might as well try. So I calmly continued to drive, trying to ignore the whining that was shooting directly into my right ear. I couldn't believe her stamina. I decided it would be fun to count how many phrases she could fit into one minute. It was an average of twenty one, depending on how long she dragged out the word 'daddy'. I have timed the drive home- it is twelve minutes. She didn't stop until we were in front of our house. So 12 x 21 is 252. She repeated herself 252 times. I've got to hand it to her. On some level, that is impressive.

But I would like to find that man and tell him that boy was he wrong.

Ms. Schmidt

2009-08-05T13:42:00.000-07:00

Crew has always had a difficult time with names. And he frequently gets words mixed up. It makes me laugh daily. Not in a "making fun" of way, but in a "I could hug you forever and ever" kind of way. A few recent examples:

Crew: Mom, I'm just going to pop (hop) over the fence and ring their ring-bell.

Crew: Dad, Meesha got out again today. Did you clob (clog) up all the holes in the fence?

Mom: Crew, don't go to first grade. I'll miss you too much.

Crew: That works out fine for me. I hate phonogram test-es.

Mom: This is Uncle Alan's car.

Crew: Uncle Alan? I don't think I've ever heard of him.

There are so many more, but I'm drawing a blank. But today was my favorite. It was the two little boys turn to go school shopping with me. (and can I just say, it is SO unlike me to leave this til the last minute....I mean EXACTLY like me....) I try and make it a fun day- we get lunch together and try and laugh and have fun. So we were sitting and eating lunch and this is the conversation:

Mom: Crew, your new teacher's name is Ms. Schmidt.

Crew: Sch.... what?

Mom: Schmidt

Crew: (thoughtful and slow) Sch....it..m (I'm so embarrassed to even write this! and of course Crew has no idea that this is a not nice word.)

Me laughing

Crew: Hopefully she'll let me call her something else. I don't think I can say that.

Unless things improve I hope they let him call her something else too!

Oh What Do You Do in the Summertime

2009-07-28T08:56:00.000-07:00

....when you don't have a POOL

....and it's blasted HOT

Get a $10 slip n' slide

A BUCKET

and a HOSE

Voila! I just saved myself $40,000!!!

Feeling like a Pioneer

2009-07-25T08:57:00.000-07:00

Oh how I wish I had my own pictures to go with this post. Cameras would have been useless for the pioneers-there's not a blessed second during all the mixing, shaking, seperating, kneading etc. to stop and take a picture. Next time I'll assign one of my brood to be the photographer.

Our neighbor brought over a gallon jar of fresh cow milk. Now, I could have dumped it down the drain and returned the jar with a thank you note and he would never be the wiser. (Food is a mental thing for me-it's hard to get over some things and just be willing to try it) But seeing as how Jody is going to buy a milk cow, I figured it was time to see what I am really made of.

I let it sit in the fridge until the cream rose to the top. Then I skimmed off all of the cream and put it in the fridge for later. With a multitude of children surrounding me, we began pasteurizing the milk, which would make it taste like store bought milk (theoretically). Everyone one was so excited to try the milk- except Brae, she was a little skeptical. Moans of disappointment followed when I told them we'd have to wait until morning so it could get cold again. Maybe they were just disappointed because they'd been trying to buy a few extra minutes before bed time. Highly probable. Jody and I finished the process and I felt surprisingly accomplished!

The next morning was the test. They all ate it with cereal and most even drank a glass. Success! Unfortunately, there was none left for me to try. (I was really okay with that- still a little bit of a mental block). Braelyn and I started researching old fashioned methods of making butter. Apparently shaking it in a jar like every child has done at a Primary Activity is a very viable method. But did you know you're supposed to let the cream sour first? We set it out on the counter for the day.

Friday night at about 8:00 we started making the butter. The kids and I all took turns shaking, shaking, shaking. I guess the more cream, the more shaking, because boy we were getting tired. We poured off all of the buttermilk, rinsed the butter, added a little salt, and we all tried it on a slice of bread. Delicious! (although next time we'll skip the shaking and let the Bosch do the work!)

Saturday morning I woke up and ground some wheat for some homemade bread, shaping three loaves. I saved the last of the dough to make scones for breakfast. Scones with our freshly ground wheat and freshly made butter. Wow! Those pioneers must have walked around feeling great about themselves, because I know I do right now!

Of course, I've done enough work that I don't feel like doing the dishes (in my dishwasher), or washing the laundry (in my washing machine), or cleaning the floors (with my vacuum cleaner). I do however want a nice long hot shower, a book, and my big comfortable couch.

Hmmm....maybe I wouldn't have made it as a pioneer.

Favorite Moments of the day...so far

2009-06-30T09:35:00.000-07:00

**Husband waking me up with a kiss and saying "good morning beautiful", which he does every day. Dang I'm lucky.

**Laying on my bed with two little boys cradled on either side of me, reminding them that they were best of friends in heaven and they chose to be here together. (So stop the fighting already!)

**Babies when they wake up. Need I say more?

**Hugs from little sleepy eyed girls in pajamas. This is a fix I need every single day. Which is why I wonder how I'll ever survive not having little ones around.

**Kids saying they're bored and it's not even 9:00 a.m. Yikes. Could be a l o n g day.

**Braelyn reading to Brooklyn, all cuddled up on the couch. Makes me heart ache.

Have I mentioned I love my family?

Thursday

2009-06-26T16:51:00.000-07:00

Why does 6:00 a.m. sometimes feel like 3:30 a.m.? I mean really, it felt like an absolutely unearthly hour and I wasn't too happy about having to get up and moving. The boys were headed out to play racquetball and needed to be up, dressed, fed, and out of the house by 6:40. I'm usually a morning person and can perk up pretty quickly. I guess mornings like this are meant to give me some sympathy for people who aren't exactly "morning people", because we have a few of those over here. It's not like they don't get up early, but the rest of us usually try and steer clear until they seem to be out of zombie mode.

I dragged my pajama clad body to the kitchen, only opening my eyes every four or five steps so I could make sure I was still on the right path. I was trying not to talk until I was sure only nice words would come out. Struggling to clear the cobwebs from my brain, I concentrated on breakfast. Why do these people have to eat so often? Why am I out of cold cereal? Why are people making noise? I loudly shushed everyone. Didn't they know my plan? It was way to many words to form at this level of consciousness, but I had every intention of the babies sleeping through all of this so I could steal a few more precious moments myself after they left. I tried to communicate all of this with the intensity of my "SHHHHH!!!" That combined with the manic look on my face seemed to get my point across. Whole wheat pancakes (please don't be impressed, I did not grind the wheat myself- it was Lehi Mill's add water only) made with my eyes half closed, forcing my lids open when I thought it was time to flip, soothed my slight guilt about the consuming thoughts of getting them OUT of the house and me back IN bed. At least I made them a good breakfast, right?

Once they all had shoes on, breakfast in, racquets out, I practically ran to my room. Jody was tying his shoes and seemed to be a little surprised that I dove back into bed and pulled the covers over my head. (This isn't all that usual for me). Then I heard it- the dreaded noise of a baby crying right when I was on the verge of slipping back into dreamless bliss. Jody must have noted the panic on my face because before I knew it he had deposited Brooklyn, with blanket and paci (I know, I know) next to me and I soothed her back to seep with a whispered princess story. We were dozing off when I heard the last set of footsteps and the click of the door closing.

Brookie cooperated long enough to let me get an extra 30 or 40 minutes. The other two were still sleeping, so we breakfasted together, just the girls. Boys still sleeping. Then we showered and got dressed. Boys still sleeping. Then we did our hair. Boys still sleeping. Read a book. Boys still sleeping. A glance at the clock let me know it was about time to pick up the boys. We woke up the little boys, fed them, and threw them into the car, syrupy pajamas and all, and off we went.

I called Jody to say good morning (I don't think I had found anything particularly good about the morning earlier, and don't think I muttered more than ten words) and that's when I noticed the police car behind me. This is also when I recalled that I hadn't stuck the new registration sticker on. No problem, I do have the paper in my car showing I paid. It's right there with the proof of insurnace. There, in that cubby. But wait, why is that cubby...empty? Then it hit me. I had the car detailed a few days before and they had put everything they found in each nook, cranny, shoved between seats, and the cubby with important papers, in a big plastic garbage bag. Believe me, it had to be big. I had taken it into the house to sift through it, and there it still sat- on the floor in the laundry room. How was I going to explain this? The police car mimicked my left turn and then my lane change. This wasn't looking good. A mile down the road and him still on my tail, I was preparing my defense. "Really officer, the car wash story is true. I have eight kids. The three days after I have it washed are the only days my car looks this clean. The papers are in that bag I was telling you about. You know, the one with the old school papers, fruit snack wrappers, primary talk slips (remember that paper I gave you mom?), the rock hard chicken nugget and other unidentifiable pieces of food. If you follow me to the racquetball courts and then back home, I'm pretty sure I could dig them out for you!" Still in my lane and directly behind me another mile later, I was starting to feel annoyed. Pull me over already! Let's just get this over with! I hate being pulled over. I feel like a little girl who just got spanked. Not that I was spanked as a little girl, but it's how I imagine I'd have felt. Suddenly, he changed lanes and turned the other direction. Whew! Dodged that bullet.

The rest of the day progressed nicely. Caden and I went to Brooklyn's swimming lessons where we got to watch her scream in terror and anger every time it was her turn. There she would flail, just under the surface of the water shaking her head "NO" as Emily would tell her to kick to the side. Man that girl is stubborn. I held my breath every time it was her turn and spent the time in between holding and comforting her, trying not to think about the very large wet spot she left on my lap which made me look like I'd had a very large accident. Apparently terror, anger, and swimming are a very exhausting combination, because she fell asleep on the way home. The afternoon was surprisingly peaceful. I even got some time to lay on the couch and read my latest book, "A Tale of Two Cities"(thanks Amy). My kids didn't even disturb me when I dozed off for a few minutes. When nap time was over we went to my mom's to go shopping in her pantry. They're leaving for Africa next month and she wants her pantry empty, and I was happy to oblige. The evening turned into one of those spontaneously fun ones. Jody met us there and we ended up staying for hours. We ate dinner together under the misted ramada, enjoying the unusually cool and breezy June night. We sat and visited until past bedtime. When we pulled into the driveway the little ones were sleeping. We cradled them straight to their beds, had family prayer, and all hit the sack.

What started as a not so great day turned out....perfect.

Heart & Home

2009-06-22T16:40:00.000-07:00

It's been so long since I posted. The problem with that is that there are so many things that have happened, things I wanted to get on the blog, but finding the time to catch up is a trick. So I'll save catching up for another day, and just get on with a few thoughts....

Last week was the first week I've had any downtime since before we moved. After the move I was always on the go, with kids in three different schools in three not close locations, four if you include preschool. And I was okay with that. I didn't want to disrupt their schooling for the last seven weeks of school. It just meant that there was rarely any time to be home. I mean, I was home sometimes, but not home... Then the flurry of the last weeks of May-it really was mind boggling crazy, those few weeks. Then I jumped right into teaching Music Theater, which is jam packed with fun, but a whole lot of late nights and extra hours. So last week I was done being a family bus driver, done teaching amazing kids to sing, dance, and light up a stage, and my heart could center on home.

"Home will be where the heart is"...one of my favorite lines from Beauty and the Beast. And yet, as I sat home on my first quiet (with eight kids this words is all relative:) day I realized that my heart has been longing to be home. Actually home. Sitting on the couch and listening to my children's conversations. Noticing how when I am merely sitting, the children are the happiest. They know they can have my attention at their beck and call, giving them a sense of stability and happiness like nothing else. Brooklyn and Cannon running off to play in his room, but returning every few minutes to animatedly tell me every minute detail of what they are doing. Spontaneous hugs and kisses from everyone, random "I love you"s. Older kids that just want to come and sit next to me.

I love being involved in projects and activities. But there is such a fine line. These years are going so quickly and I don't want to spend so much time with my heart overcommitted to outside things that home gets squeezed out. Of course my heart always deep down wants to be home, but I can often say yes to so many things that I unintentionally give away all the pieces before I realize what is happening. Then there is that plain old reality--laundry to be done, dishes to be washed, shopping to do, lessons, scouts, mutual, callings... These can't be avoided. But I know the deep peace and happiness I felt on that day needs to happen more often in my life. I love my family more than anything and I want to give them the very best of me. I am incredibly blessed and I want my kids one day to look back and realize that my home is where my heart is.

Our House

2009-05-14T16:40:00.000-07:00

Okay, so here are a few pictures of our new house. Nary a picture on the wall, a window dressed, or surface adorned. But there will be time for that later. I don't know exactly when "later" is, except that it is after "now". We are happy, yet still feeling the loss of a ward and neighbors (especially the next door ones) that we love and are so comfortable with. Jody said it best in his last testimony in our ward- we have fasted with you, prayed with you, laughed with you...we know those bonds will be created here too, but man we loved our life over there in Crismon Creek.

p.s. there are curtains on one window, but it was like that when we got here!

This kitchen has plenty of room for all the helpers I usually have.

From the kitchen looking into the Family room.

Family Room

This room is like an extra part of the family room. Right now it is hosting our year supply until we find a better home for it. We've discovered that a year supply for ten people takes up a lot of room.

This room is right of the entry way. It is still a work in progress, as is everything. This is homework central every afternoon.

The living room is straight ahead when you walk in the front door.

One shot of the master bedroom...

These stables are in the back corner of our property, and I believe they helped seal the deal for Jody. Yes, those are cows- not ours, a neighbors, but Jody has big plans....

This is the view from the back porch.

The laundry room still needs some organization, and these pictures really don't do it justice. It also didn't help that it had flooded earlier in the afternoon (notice all the cords), but this room makes me HAPPY! There are so many cabinets, a huge closet, room for a second fridge, definitely a deal clincher for me, as was the huge pantry. I couldn't get a good picture of the pantry, but it was built with a large family and food storage in mind:)

The master bath was such a bonus. It was not on my list of necessary things to have an amazing master bathroom, but I sure don't mind it!

I think it is so pretty at night.

I didn't take pictures of the kids bedrooms- they're still a little boring right now. There are four kids bedroom and two jack and jill bathrooms. One thing that's kind of unique is that the older kids actually have their vanities in their rooms, and then the bathroom they share just has the shower and toilet. It works out well for Braelyn- it gives her her very own space for all the getting ready things that teenage girls have...and since she shares it with a two year old, she pretty much has it to herself. The house has fabulous storage and lots of little things that make it a great fit for our big family.

Triple Hooray!

2009-05-06T14:26:00.000-07:00

Saturday was a "work" day at our house.
Kids don't always like "work" days.
What they don't know is sometimes adults don't like "work" days.
But, we have to pretend we do so that hopefully our good attitudes will be contagious!
We worked long and hard on Saturday.
I thought we were all done.
Then I remembered the state of my car.
DISGUSTING.
So, I rallied the troops and told them to put their swimming suits on and meet me out front.

There was water, bubbles, laughter and fun.

The car got clean-HOORAY!

The kids enjoyed working together-DOUBLE HOORAY!!

We spent good, quality time together on Saturday-

TRIPLE HOORAY!!!

Who said work can't be fun??

The Haircut

2009-04-20T23:02:00.000-07:00

It is late and I really should be in bed, but instead I'm sitting here to hopefully give my thoughts an opportunity to escape. On nights like this I seem to be held prisoner by thoughts that lead to other thoughts...then other thoughts...and so on. Sleep will come easier when my mind is not so full.

Today I cut Colton's hair. I know-it really shouldn't be a big deal. But to me it is. It's like the final admission that he's not a little baby anymore. (Now, I didn't say these thoughts would be logical, or reasonable). I managed to put it off for awhile with the excuse that the hair cutting scissors were lost. New scissors were purchased several weeks ago. They taunted me from my bathroom counter. I put them into the back of a drawer, trying to drown out the irrational arguments they started in my head. But his hair was getting so long...I know certain family members put great effort into biting their tongues (thank you for bearing with my oddities). Mentally preparing myself, I've been saying out loud for weeks "we really need to cut your hair!".

This morning I just took a deep breath, walked into the bathroom, and did it. Cut his beautiful golden red locks right off. Watched them fall lifeless onto the bathroom counter, saying "I told you so!". And they were right. He looks bigger, older, a handsome little boy, only not so little.

I thought I would shed a few tears, but surprisingly enough, I was okay. But tonight the emotion comes-- the realization that I won't fight this inner battle many more times. Maybe only once or twice. And then the tears do begin to form, because it's all going so fast. How could my years having babies be that close to an end? I remember when Braelyn was born laying on the delivery table and saying "I can't wait to do this again". I love this part of my life. I am grateful everyday to my Father in Heaven for letting me be a mother, letting this dream come true. I know that I am extremely blessed.

I will be okay.

I feel a little better already.

He is still beautiful.

And he is still my baby.

Pacifiers and Excuses

2009-04-15T19:42:00.000-07:00

Brooklyn still has a pacifier. She loves her pacifier. We love that she loves her pacifier. She turned 2 in Feb., which means she is already overdue to be off the pacifier. But you see, I have such good excuses. The thing of it is, they make really cute girl pacifiers. You know, they match the outfit and are shiny and pretty. The mam website itself says "Over 50 different colors and prints to choose from make it fun to coordinate MAM pacifiers with babies’ outfits, wardrobe or daily mood. (Daily mood,seriously?) And it makes it so easy to put her to sleep, quiet her in church, or stop a fit instantly. If you had eight kids and two babies 15 months apart, would you be anxious to take away the one thing that can accomplish all of that? I was actually getting ready to take her off of the pacifier as soon as I was done teaching my class last summer, and before the new baby was born. But then the accident happened, and she needed it. She really did. My poor little girl got a new baby brother and a broken mommy at the same time, and my angel needed something to comfort her. Well, the new baby brother came with a pacifier too. And so it came to pass that Brooklyn realized she had access to pacifiers any time she darn well pleased. We have actually watched her walk in to Colton's room and pluck it out of his peaceful, pouty, sleeping mouth. (She also steals his blanket in the same manner.) We realized that taking her off a pacifier would mean taking it away from the baby, and he was just little. But now she talks. And he is almost one. And it is a little annoying to listen to a toddler talk through a pacifier. And she wants it allthe time. She will pitifully cry out "Pa--ci--fi--er" in the middle of a tantrum. The kicker was when I was at my moms on Sunday night. I mentioned something about taking the pacifier away from her and my sister in law asked if it was pushing her teeth out. I of course said "No". I mean really, what kind of mother would let her baby have a pacifier to the point of deforming her teeth? "Her teeth came in with a really wide arch" I hear myself saying. It is true, but I know I sounded pretty lame. Amy looked in her mouth and said, "Oh, they are out a little". And then in an even more feeble attempt I say, "They've always been like that". Even as the words come out of my mouth I realize I have a problem. I am in denial. And to Amy's credit, she didn't utter a single word, didn't even smirk. So Monday morning I looked in her mouth, and sure enough, her two front teeth are being pushed forward a little. And so it begins. Taking her off the pacifier. Right now we only use paci's for nighttime. So far so good. I'll let you know how STAKE CONFERENCE (read as two whole hours) goes without a paci. We'll bring a lot of fruit snacks and hope for the best!!

5 Things

2009-04-09T10:43:00.000-07:00

My friend Sara tagged me about 3 weeks ago, and I am just now getting to this. It seemed like the easiest way to ease back into blogging, because the content and format were already laid out for me, and that's about the level of energy and creativity I can muster right now. If you've talked to me recently I'm sorry for sounding like a broken record, but I am SO tired. I'm afraid I might be tired for the next twenty years. Oh well. My dad promises me I will miss all of this someday, and I choose to believe him. It makes it a lot easier to get through the day, the week, the project, whatever, if you enjoy it while you're doing it!

5 Things I was doing 5 years ago:

1. Turning 30

2. Delivering my 6th baby, Cannon James-and little did I know how he would change my life:)

3. Happily watching my sister Amy fall in love and get married to her incredible husband Don

4. Putting my trust in the Lord and my husband Jody as I watched him drive down the street headed for Florida to try and launch a new business-leaving me with six children 9 and under, serving as primary president, teaching 2 children's performing groups and doing pest control scheduling from my home. Happy to say, it all paid off!

5. Welcoming Jody back home two days before Christmas after two very long months, happy to have my family back under one roof!

5 Things on my to do list for today:

1. Laundry, what else?

2. Drive for what seems like an eternity-(schools are a lot further away now that we've moved, I've used almost 3/4 a tank of gas since Tuesday morning)

3. Make a really nice dinner

4. Be patient

5. Make sure my kids know they're loved (p.s.- I cleaned the house yesterday, don't think I'm a slacker!)

5 things I would do with a million dollars:

1. Pay off my house

2. Put away enough money for six missions and eight weddings

3. Take all of my kids to go and see Amy and Don in Europe

4. Buy some land in the mountains

5. Help other people ( I know it sounds like the pageant answer, but really, what else would I need?)

5 places I have lived:

1. Provo, Utah

2. Walpole, Massachusetts

3. Baton Rouge, Louisiana

4. Katy, Texas

5. Laie, Hawaii

5 jobs I have held:

1. Dishroom worker at BYU

2. Phone operator at BYU-Hawaii (best job on campus)

3. Orthodontic Assistant

4. Piano Teacher

5.Teaching childrens Musical Theater groups

5 things I want to be doing in five years:

1. Watching Conner graduate from high school

2. Having my girl back home for the summer after her first year of college and loving every minute of it

3. Be a positive, happy person- despite the demands of teenagers, tweens, young children, and probably a few toddlers to boot!

4. Spend more time with my best friend (Jody), although that's probably a little optimistic. (See #3)

5. Maybe, possibly, working on a degree

5 people I tag:

1. Amy

2. Amy

3. Heidi

4. Jessica

5. Bobbi

Missing my Blog

2009-03-09T17:39:00.000-07:00

I have so many things I want to blog about- Brooklyn's birthday, Cooper's birthday, Crew losing his first teeth, the family party with the magician, the new house..... The problem is the last item. Not really a problem, but a reason. My days have been filled with packing, packing, more packing, picking paint colors, deciding what little construction projects to do first, buying a new fridge, picking a new table, packing, and CLEANING. Yikes. I am bone tired. Today I was 35 minutes late to pick up Braelyn from school. I had been at the new house deciding on paint colors. When I picked her up I told her I was sorry, but it had to be done so that the painters could start tomorrow. Cooper was in the front seat and with a confused look asked, "So when someone's a painter and they're a girl, they're called a paintress?" It was a needed laugh. He had misheard me when I said "painters" (actually I probably had slurred speech brought on by tiredness) and thought he heard paintress. It probably wasn't that funny, but I was a little punch happy I guess! I came home and needed to just do something that wasn't packing, so I decided to add my family pictures to the blog. Way more fun than packing. Missing my blog...will be back soon.

Stacks of Laundry

2009-02-20T16:26:00.000-08:00

Last Friday after school I decided that we should do our Saturday work early because we had family pictures first thing the next morning, and it would just be easier all around. We all had our different jobs, and as I was in the kitchen Crew and Cannon came in bubbling with excitement. They wanted to show me a "surprise". I closed my eyes and they led me by the hand into my bathroom, where they proudly showed off their hard work. They had decided to clean my bathroom for me! I shouted my joy and smothered them with hugs and kisses. Then we all went on with our work. It wasn't until later that night that we realized that we had overlooked this:Apparently when they were trying to clean the shower they realized they couldn't reach the top. So they found every piece of clothing they could-clean, dirty, whatever-and stacked it up in the shower. It made for some extra laundry the next day, but it was worth the laugh!

Valentines Day Preparations

2009-02-20T16:12:00.001-08:00

Ooh...those legs! More delicious than the cookies she's making!

Don't worry, they used proper hand washing techniques prior to holding, rolling, and squishing the dough -- and I only gave away the ones that I made, so if you ate one of these- no worries!

The all important valentine signing. I fully remember the social pressure of this day in elementary school. Do you?

The finished product. We had fun together & the cookies turned out. See, not everything in my life turns into a saga!

Fun Friday Night

2009-02-11T16:43:00.000-08:00

Last friday night Cooper got his Arrow of Light.

He also got his 20's Patch, which is pretty awesome. There are 20 different activity badges possible in Webelos, but only half of those are required to get your Arrow of light. Cooper went above and beyond. I am so proud of him.

Caden got his Religious Knot. As part of this he had to write down his testimony, and when I read it I felt all goose bumpy. There is something about a nine year old testifying in their own words about the Savior and the scriptures. I love being a mom.

It all sound so nice, which it was, but it was also all a little crazy. Jody had been gone out of town all week. (enough said) Then Colton got sick. I decided to leave Braelyn home with Colton while we went to the Blue and Gold. Then Brookie got sick. And Conner had an ear infection and possibly strep throat. So he and Brooke stayed home as well. I was responsible for bringing potato salad and a pie. There was a pie contest for all homemade pies. At one time in my life I would have loved the challenge and spent all day striving for pie perfection. Oh how life teaches us. I don't even feel the slightest bit guilty that my contribution was going to be a Marie Calendars Turtle Pie. And let's just admit it, it was way probably yummier than anything I would have concocted. I also had to go to the scout store that morning to buy Cooper his neckerchief and slide which he lost, and would never wear again, but needed for the ceremony. Add that in to an already crazy day and I was feeling a little overwhelmed. Then of course, because I am so fabulous at procrastinating, I had to sew the last six months worth of badges onto Coop and Cade's shirts. Amazingly enough, the four boys and I loaded ourselves and the potato salad into the car and set off down the road on time! No sooner had I rounded the corner than I realized we had a stowaway. Brooklyn was hiding in the way back of the car, determined not to be left behind. I quickly turned around and pulled back into the driveway. By this time Braelyn was outside searching for Brooklyn. Caden yanked open the car door to deposit her into Braelyn's waiting arms and SPLAT went the potato salad. All over the driveway. This started the blaming, exclaiming, ranting and raving. I jumped out of the car and looked over to see a realtor trying to talk to a man who was looking at the house next door. I'm pretty sure it only took him ten seconds to realize that we would NOT be ideal neighbors! I ran in the house with what was left of the potato salad to transfer it to another container, then screeched out of the driveway, arriving just after the opening prayer. Not too bad, right? About ten minutes into the program I realize that I had forgotten to pin back on Cooper's Webelos activity badge thing, which I had taken off to wash the shirt. With my life lessons in learning not too sweat the small stuff, I would have brushed it off...except... they make a big deal in the Arrow of Light ceremony of removing it. So I left the four boys (with a few good threats thrown in just to be sure they behaved) and ran home for the pin. I arrived back at Blue and Gold, only to realize I had left the pie in the fridge. At this point I decided who the heck cared. It was actually going to work out pretty good, because once I got home, got everyone to bed, rocked a sick baby, and picked up Jody from the airport, a turtle pie was going to be just the ticket. And I was right. It was delicious...every bite.

What Do You Get When....

2009-02-05T15:43:00.001-08:00

...the ingredients are a pair of high heels, a purse, multiple hair clips,an ipod and Brooklyn

answer: one dadgum cute little girl

... your twelve year old son plays "rolling the ball" with his baby sister

answer: heartwarming feelings and really great pictures

...you leave breakfast on the table for too long, and you have an almost two year old "helper"

answer: oatmeal added to the milk, instead of the other way around.

...you share a room with an almost two year old and leave your makeup where she can reach it

answer: "pretty girl" (her words, not mine!)

...the Cardinals are in the Super Bowl.. and it gets close

answer: intense men.

...you have six sons

answer: the opportunity to make a lot of pinewood derby cars.

Open Blog Friday

2009-01-23T15:04:00.000-08:00

In the style of radio show talk hosts that have Open Line Fridays where folks can call in and talk about whatever they want, I need an Open Blog Friday where I can record the smattering of thoughts in my head. Not that I fancy myself some popular "Blog Host" or anything of the sort, I just like the idea.

** Thought #1

Yesterday afternoon I found a comment on my post from a mrs.dph. Doesn't that sound fabulously distinguished? Straight out of some murder mystery or something. Then the comment said "Hi from Kansas" and I'm wondering, has someone outside the circle of people who are required to love me and read my blog, actually seen my blog? And then I get to the bottom of the comment and it is signed "Tracie". My brain starts connecting the dots and I realize that even better than someone I don't know finding my blog, it is someone I KNOW and LOVE! Tracie, it was so great to hear from you. Please tell me you have a blog where I can keep up with you and your beautiful children. Oh- and someone with five kids should never preface that statement with "only".

**Thought #2

I realized that it may have been slightly tacky for me to enter Jessica's giveaway and lessen her chances of winning. Especially when she was gracious enough to say that I was more deserving than her. Not hardly. Her husband has been a student for nigh unto eternity, and should I win, it's her early birthday present.

**Thought #3

I had a dream that I had a tummy tuck. What a great dream. In my dream, I wasn't even in pain afterwards. Sadly I woke up with the same stomach that has been stretched beyond capacity eight times.

**Thought #4

My sister in law Jessica had a baby this morning. She had Amy there with her as her doula, and was able to have a beautiful natural birth. A twinge of jealousy I must admit to. There is nothing more beautiful or sacred. I love everything about it. And of course, thinking of her and all that she is experiencing, I couldn't help but feel a small sadness reflecting on how I missed out on all of that with Colton. All of the concentration and focus to give this little baby the best entrance into the world possible, hearing their first cry, discovering the perfectness of every inch of them, the moment when you are all alone with them for the first time and you can whisper all of your hopes and dreams for them. The bonding of nursing, bathing them for the first time, the quiet middle of the night feedings when the house is peaceful, kissing and snuggling together, scooping them out of their beds to calm their whimperings, falling asleep together. Instead of that, Colton and I had this:

I was completely out for his delivery, as other surgeries were to start immediately afterwards. I didn't lay eyes on him for 2 1/2 days, although the sweet nurses taking care of him took pictures and sent them over to me. I saw him a total of 4 hours the first week of his life. Jody had to place him on my chest and with great care I could get my right arm around him so that I could almost feel like I was holding him. The day he left the hospital, knowing I had to stay behind, forced me (figuratively) to my knees. I prayed my way through that day, and Heavenly Father blessed me with the peace that only comes through our Savior and the Comforter. From that moment, I was determined to be home as soon as possible. I left days earlier than projected by the doctors, and I was so grateful. And yet, once home, I realized what a long road was ahead. I could do none of the things that I find so much happiness in. I couldn't pick him up, I couldn't hold him for very long periods of time, I couldn't rock in a chair with him, I could feed him only once in awhile. I couldn't dress him, change his diaper, or bathe him. I couldn't soothe his cries, and couldn't enjoy the solace of nightime feedings, couldn't nurse him. It is typically months before I leave my babies, and yet immediately after coming home I began the many appointments with surgeons and physical therapy, forcing me to be separated from him. The heaviness in my heart was unbelievable, but greater still was my gratitude. I was surrounded by loving family and friends to care for my baby and seven other children, bring meals, do laundry, drive me to appointments, and support Jody and me in every way. When Jody blessed Colton, the first thing he was told was that he had been preserved by the hand of God. The last thing that he was blessed with was that he would have a special bond with his mother. I know that the last part was Heavenly Father's gift to me, an answer to many pleadings, worrying that Colton would know and love me even though I couldn't care for him in the typical way. Nearly eight months have passed since that day. And while this isn't but a small part of my experiences, I wouldn't trade the lessons I have learned and the miracles I witnessed for anything in the world. Colton and I are madly in love with each other, I am here to be a mother to my children and a wife to my husband, and I know beyond anything that Jesus Christ is real, His promises are sure, and we are never alone.

Content

2009-01-23T13:21:00.000-08:00

I love the idea of being content. Contentment sounds so peaceful, so right. And yet, the details of everyday life seem to allow me only brief glimpses. Today, though, I am content. The weather is absolutely beautiful- like a day plucked right out of Spring. The sun peeks out occasionally, only to be chased away by the soft clouds and light wind gently blowing tranquility and happiness to those under their cover. A few cheerful raindrops even found us.

Here is what we did all afternoon:

What a day!

Blog IQ

2009-01-20T15:02:00.000-08:00

So, I'm fairly new to the "blog world". I mean, we had the Petersen blog, and I knew how to post. Then I ventured out and started my own blog and learned how to add a slideshow from photobucket. I thought I was content with the amount of blog intelligence I had acquired, until I read my sister-in-law's post about this:

Apparently someone is giving this away. It is the double stroller that I thought only existed in my dreams. I've tried double strollers before, and sworn them off for various reasons. This one seems to have found an answer for every complaint. It would be so enormously convenient to own one again, with babies 15 months apart and all. And just think, the stroller and Colton would MATCH! Of course, I really never expect to win anything, but there was that drawing in eighth grade that got me a "Go Gilbert Tigers" puke-gold t-shirt, so maybe there's a chance. So now I'm going to figure out how to enter blog give aways and tell people to go here(You know, where the word is highlighted and you can click on it and it will take you to another site?).

You really should check this stroller out here.

Oh my! I did it!

Blog IQ spiked significantly!

Happy girl! (happier if I win though)

And just to be fair, I will do the six month switch with Jessica if I win, since I never would have found it without her! Thanks Jess.

Delicious Red Head Baby

2009-01-13T19:21:00.000-08:00

Amy & Jessica, I know this took way too long, but here are a few pictures of the happiest baby in the world.

Words Every Girl Wants to Hear

2009-01-13T19:02:00.000-08:00

While driving to a wedding reception:

Jody: Today was such a fun day. (Here I'm thinking he may say something like- we signed the counter offer on the house, or- I got to spend a lot of time with you and the kids, or- We get to go to this wedding reception tonight- *okay, like he'd ever actually say that* instead...) I got to pick up cool things out of a garbage pile. There was this folding chair that totally works, perfect condition! There was also this computer chair that looks pretty nice. And this really cool box (..I'm not sure exactly what followed, because I'm thinking "this could make a pretty good blog!) ..remember you said I needed something cool to keep some of my stuff in"

Angela: Wow honey, that sounds like a lot of fun. (thinking, please give me some more material. He didn't disappoint. His next statement was...)

Jody: And I got to use my bull whip! (contented sigh) Good day.

I married a simple man. Garbage and a bullwhip. I love him like crazy!

Rocky Point

2009-01-06T21:30:00.001-08:00

A Sombrero and a Box of Cigars

2009-01-06T16:49:00.000-08:00

We went on our first ever trip to Rocky Point, and may I just say that we had a blast. All of my fears and apprehensions were ungrounded. Well, not entirely true. There was that first part after crossing the border, when it was already dark (we left way later than planned, imagine that), and we lost the lead car which contained Andrew and Dawn's family, as well as the map, and the one person who spoke Spanish. I was trying to be ultra calm, because Jody was intense enough for both of us (and anybody within a ten mile radius). The four men in the back of a truck with AR15's at the Circle K where we stopped for directions didn't help his stress level, nor did the fact that he got different directions (in mostly Spanish, which we don't understand, remember?) from everyone trying to help. And they really were trying. While Jody was out of the car I tried to explain to the kids, without scaring them, that daddy was trying really hard to find our place, and that any questions such as "When will we get there?" "Are we lost?" or "How much longer?" would be hugely unhelpful, and maybe slightly dangerous, considering Dad's state of mind. Jody came back and off we set in our enormously long van, towing a more enormously long trailer, afraid at any point that we would turn down some street that we would get stuck on. After many turns and one long, winding dirt road, Jody stopped abruptly in the middle of the road and walked up to the cab behind us, almost pleading with the man to be able to communicate in English- and miracle of miracles (and answer to more than one fervent prayer) he spoke English! He said "No worry. You are not lost!" (I had to laugh at this) He then told us how to get to "The Reef" and then wished us Merry Christmas and Happy New Year at least four times. He was one of the happiest, kindest cab drivers I will probably ever come across (because I come across so many, you know). This man deserves blessing from heaven. True to his word, we made it to "The Reef". The worry was over and the fun began.

It was an awesome vacation. The mornings were chilly enough for sweatshirts and the kids spent their time carefully walking across the coral (or in Caden's case, not so carefully-he was fully soaked within 1/2 an hour) and exploring while the tide was out. Midmorning saw them in swimsuits and the rest of the day was spent in the water. Even the babies ventured down once the tide came in. The evenings grew chilly and the sunsets brought blankets of darkness, a perfect setting for a cozy fire to sit and warm ourselves around. The kids feet fell casualty to the combination of water, sand, and new crocs, and we have been nursing many a blistered and bleeding foot. Jody, Conner and Cooper chartered a boat and went fishing one morning. The fruits of that trip are still sitting in my fridge, waiting to see if I have the courage to cook them up.

All well and good, but what does all of this have to do with a sombrero and a box of cigars, you ask? Well, the first morning we were there Jody and Andrew had left on the Ranger for a little bit, and that's when it all started- the sweet Mexican's walking along the beach selling all kinds of things. Anybody who knows me should have thought to warn me, since my inability to say "no" is widely known. I also, much to the frustration of my husband, cannot (notice I didn't say will not, because I really can't) bargain. I will always pay the asked for price. So it began, and I shortly had in my possession one bracelet, necklace, life size plaster turtle, beaded purse, two shark tooth necklaces, and probably a few other things that I can't think of right now. Just one or two things from each person that had stopped at the trailer thus far. I knew I was spiraling out of control and that Jody would give me a hard time. Just as I was thinking this, two men came up, one selling sombrero's and the other cigars. I had a vision of Jody returning to find me sitting on a chair clad in Mexican jewelry, my plaster turtle by my side, wearing a sombrero, with a box of cigars on my lap. How was it to be avoided? The roar of the Ranger saved me from my own vision. Andrew told them we don't smoke, and Jody uttered the first of many "No Thank you"'s to the sombrero man. As best I can remember, we are now the proud owners of:

Silver bracelet
purple necklace
turquoise bracelet
green bracelet
flower bracelet
beaded purse
sun dress
small carved turtle
small carved tucan
aforementioned plaster turtle
38 braids with beads (on Braelyn's head)
more braids on Brookie
bobble head butterfly
four shark tooth necklaces
one ying/yang necklace
one anchor necklace
one very large pancho
four slingshots
colorful pitcher
matching colorful plate
Mexcian blanket
One womanly pedicure on the beach
One manly pedicure on the beach (YES! Jody got a pedicure)
Fireworks

That might not be all, but it's all I can remember right now. Hopefully we left Mexico a little happier than we found it. Jody is confident that word had gotten out and that everyone selling was looking for the blonde lady that would buy almost anything -except cigars and a sombrero!

Big Fat Copy Cat

2008-12-09T16:30:00.000-08:00

CANNON VS. THE WORLD

Not too long ago I walked outside to find spunky little Cannon staring up at the sky looking a little bewildered.

"Mom, watch this!"

Then loudly enough to make the neighbors come running, he looked to the sky and yelled "Hey! Stop that!"

Then we both heard his little echo. With an incredulous look, a shrug, and a giggle, he said "The world is copy-catting me!".

How cute is that?

On a lighter note.....

2008-12-04T21:24:00.001-08:00

If you have been the recipient of this picture attached to any e-mails, let me publicly apologize. Jody takes pictures of everyone he can that has a number saved on his phone so that when they call, their picture shows up. It's really the lazy form of caller ID. This is the photo that shows up when I call. Apparently when Jody hooks up his i-phone to our Mac for updates, etc. the efficient Mac correlates as much info as possible between the two. I was trying to find an e-mail I had sent to somebody tonight and when I located it, I noticed this picture in the top right corner. Mortification! Humiliation! How could this have happened? Was it a one time thing? I frantically began opening other "sent" e-mails. And there it was. On every single one. The one to the realtor. The scout master. The HOA property manger. Our payroll company. What must they think of me? And let's be honest, if I was egotistical enough to attach my picture to all of my e-mails, would I have chosen this one? When Jody got home from ward missionary stuff I showed him the horrifying discovery. He laughed his head off. Some consolation. I'll be spending a lot of time with the Mac tomorrow learning how to keep this from ever, ever happening again! Or at least how to get a better picture on there!

The Mother Load

2008-12-04T20:25:00.000-08:00

***Readers discretion is advised. These are the musings of an over-tired, slightly emotional (okay, that could possibly be an understatement), end of the day exhaustion filled mother. Mostly I'm writing this so that I can purge my mind of the thoughts that are hogging all of the space in my brain, not leaving any room for sanity and peace.

Things on my mind:

Have any of my kids practiced their piano even once since their last lesson--because lesson day is upon us.

Is it my job to prepare my son for the school wide spelling bee (because I haven't), or is that just enabling him?

How did I not know that child was getting a D in math? What can I threaten him with?

Can you send in make up homework that was due more than a week ago? And at what point does the teacher start thinking not nice things about that child's mother?

When was the last time I made a really, honest to goodness, nutritious meal?

Where, oh where, has my patience gone???

Is putting my son on medication for ADHD going to help him?

How is his self esteem? I'm worried about him.

I'm worried about all of them.

Are they developing their testimonies?

When will I get all the christmas shopping done.

For that matter, when will I get the grocery shopping done. I mean, Christmas is 23 days away, and breakfast is a mere 9 hours away.

Can I cancel guitar lessons tomorrow? because I haven't heard that instrument practiced all week either. Of course, that probably sends the wrong message. Or should the boy be expected to practice without a reminder? But that seems kind of mean, and expecting a lot. Back and forth I go.

What happened to our schedule? and will it keep itself hidden until January when holidays are over? Part of me wants to scream "Hide! Hide!" The other is begging for it's return.

Is my baby getting enough attention?

Is my other baby getting enough attention?

When will I decorate for Christmas, and how deep will I have to dig to find the desire?

Are they learning to work hard, and love it? (Wait, I know the answer to the last half.)

Have I told my husband how great he is? Or do I just hope that he absorbs the feelings of gratitude that constantly flow from my thoughts.

Does 7 quickly read verses count as family scripture study?

Will I ever not dread bedtime? Have I always dreaded bedtime? Specifically, the getting everybody dressed, brushing those many rows of teeth, family prayer said without wanting to run and hide in my closet (the desire to hide usually occurs while waiting for ten people to kneel down and all be quiet AT THE SAME TIME), patiently listening to every child's "there's one more thing I want to tell you", coaching personal prayers, and of course, the many short distance sprints between the couch and bedroom (can that count as exercise?) responding to calls of "I'm still thirsty" "He's touching me" "He won't stop talking" "I have to go to the bathroom again...(why do beds seem to aggravate this need?)" "He's hiding toys under his pillow" etc.... All of this seems to suck any remaining energy out of all the secret places I've been tucking it away in hopes of having a coherent conversation with my husband after everyone's down.

And yet, now that they are asleep I have the unbelievable urge to kiss each of their beautiful faces, climb under their blankets and snuggle in, feel their heart beats close to mine, and let the awareness of my blessings gently restore my absolute, awe filled devotion to them, to being their mother.

The mother load can be a heavy one, but I wouldn't have it any other way.

I Don't Need You to be in Charge

2008-11-24T11:37:00.000-08:00

So basically my four year old is amazing. Last week I walked into the family room to find Cannon restraining Colton's kicking legs mid-air. Cannon casually glanced over his shoulder and in his best "will you be my helper" voice said, "Hey Mom, can you grab me the wipes? Colton's poopy".

A few weeks before that I had appeared in the family room to find Cannon had folded the entire basket of laundry that was sitting in there. "Look Mom, I folded all the clothes! Then I put them in piles. (Pointing) Braelyn, Conner, Cooper, Caden, Crew, Me, Brooklyn, and Colton! I like folding laundry Mom." I'd like to add that every piece of clothing was in the right pile, and folded pretty darn nicely, too. I'm pretty sure that he is the only one in the house besides myself that could accomplish that feat, Jody included. Of course, had it been a basket of whites and he'd identified which socks went to whom, I probably would have passed out. (Jody once watched me folding socks and told me that I could never die because there is no way he'd ever remember who's socks were who's. Apparently a great deal of my value lies in my sock sorting skills.)

Today I was getting ready to change Brookie's diaper and Cannon quickly discerned that Colton needed changing too. When I went to grab Brooke's new diaper he yelled, "Mom, can you get me a diaper for Colton? They're size 3." It's probable that that little nugget of information is known only to Cannon, myself, and possibly Braelyn (again, Jody included!).

A little while later I had gotten the spaghetti out of the fridge to heat up for lunch. I ran to answer the door and when I came back Cannon was sitting on the counter with the spaghetti all dished out for Brooklyn and himself. He had one plate in the microwave and was trying to figure out how long he should heat up spaghetti! He proceeded to get Brooklyn situated at the table and happily devouring her lunch. When they were done he ran to the kitchen, grabbed a paper towel, got it wet, and offhandedly explained to me that Brooklyn was done and needed to be "washed up". Then he CLEARED both of their places.

So when he matter of factly explained to me that "I don't need you to be in charge. I can do everything", how could I argue with him?

I think I will go and teach him how to sort laundry and start the washing machine.

Beautiful Things

2008-11-20T09:11:00.001-08:00

It's just after ten in the morning and here I sit, still in my pajamas. Jody came back to pick up something he forgot just as I was getting home from the bus stop earlier this morning and my secret was out. I actually drive to the bus stop IN MY PAJAMAS. This morning it wasn't even a t-shirt and yoga pants. They were flowery, pastel covered, matching pants and button down top. But I digress. I could feel frustrated that I haven't showered or dressed, started the laundry, done Brooklyn's hair, dressed Colton,......

But I am choosing to be happy. Happy in the moment. Grateful. Grateful for beautiful things.

Like...

a husband/best friend who quickly cleaned up breakfast and swept the kitchen when he ran back home for his forgotten item.
Brooklyn and Cannon enjoying applesauce for their morning snack- the applesauce that reminds me of a night spent with my beautiful children and amazing husband cooking apples and making memories.
Fat baby feet to kiss.
Kids that tell me they love me every morning when they get out of the car.
Pouty lipped little girls in pigtails and mommy's red high heels
Yummy red head babies that wake up from naps smiling so big that their happiness is irresistibly contagious
Teenage daughters that are as gorgeous on the inside as they are on the out

It is now the next day and I never did complete my list of beautiful things to be grateful for, but it makes a decided difference in experiences, moments, and days to choose to be happy and grateful. I choose to be happy today!

iPhone Woes

2008-11-13T15:14:00.000-08:00

I never seem to have my camera in hand (it doesn't work well either)and Jody always has his phone, so I have been relying on him to capture our kids cute and important moments. Of course I rarely, if ever, get around to actually printing my pictures, so I didn't realize until I started this blog that the iPhone doesn't have enough mega pixels (is that the right terminology?) to enlarge well. AAHHH!!! I guess that means Jody needs to buy me a new camera.

p.s. I would like a really nice one, babe!

Braelyn's Choir Concert

2008-11-13T15:02:00.000-08:00

Braelyn had her first choir concert of the year. This year she is in two choirs, Chamber Choir and Jazz choir. The Jazz choir only has eight girls, so this was a fun accomplishment. Braelyn loves to sing and absolutely loves choir. Audrey is in seventh grade girls choir, so although they don't have class together, they get to do concerts together. Jody couldn't get over how beautiful Braelyn looked. The last picture is a candid shot that he captured, and I can't believe how grown up my little girl is.

Princess? Whatever do you mean???

2008-11-13T14:39:00.000-08:00

Brooklyn decides to drive

Cannon's jeep.

Cannon decides to join her.

Brooklyn tries pushing...

scratching...

pinching...

until Mom has to intervene.

Brooklyn finally concedes and happily gives Cannon a ride(in his jeep).

Princess? Whatever do you mean???

Peaches Anyone?

2008-11-13T13:35:00.000-08:00

We decided to can peaches this year. It became a family project and we had a blast. Even Jody got really into it. He was in charge of the actual canning process, which we did outside on a two burner camping stove. We did 50+ jars, so it was nice to have two canners going. We had so much fun that we decided to do applesauce and apple filling as well. Pictures of that coming soon...

The kids think of this as "fun work". I wish I knew how to make cleaning bedrooms, scrubbing toilets, mowing the lawn, etc... seem like "fun work"! If I ever discover that secret, I'm sure I'll be rich...or at least a little happier!

Finally

2008-11-10T22:48:00.000-08:00

This is something I've been wanting to do for a long time, and I am finally getting to it. I've had the page for quite awhile and I could list my many excuses, but that list would be unbelievably long, and probably quite boring. (Well, except for the whole rollover car accident/emergency c-section/months recuperating/eight children part of the excuse!) I am mostly looking forward to keeping something of a journal for my family. I am much more likely to sit and jot something down on the computer than I am to get out pen and paper and actually journal the old fashioned way! So here goes.....